Things I've Learned: Victoria Falls to Dar es Salaam

What I've Learned:

- Again I say: drink more water!
- The monkeys are faster than you are.
- Beware of tent pegs in the dark. Or light.
- Yes, these pictures will end up on facebook.
- There's nothing like doing nothing to work up an appetite.
- Four hands are better than two.
- Check your shoes before putting them on.
- You will never get 100% clean. Unless... no, never.
- Listen to your guide.
- You are far more likely to listen to your guide when you are in danger of being squashed/eaten.
- Thorns which pierce through tires can do impressive things to feet.
- National parks are not zoos.
- Never tell someone on the street your name.
- If you leave wet things (anything) in the truck, the truck will quickly smell like wet dog. Your friends will not be happy.
- You're not being as quiet as you think you are. (We can hear you whispering/fighting/giggling/etc.).
- Ridiculous amounts of time can be spent mocking slang from different countries. (Dunny? Soda? Pudding? Minging?)
- Group opinion is a powerful force.
- Always have one person on your side.
- Don't take pictures of anyone in military uniform. Or carrying guns.
- Learn from other's mistakes.
- If you see a spiderweb, chances are there is a spider.
- You have enough photos of sunsets.
- Most animals don't want to hurt you; don't give them a reason.
- Always have an escape route.
- Nothing will eat a dead hyeana.
- Scattegories can go on all day.
- Tired people will fight about anything.
- Keep an eye on your tab.
- US dollars speak.
- The worse the road, the nicer the people.
- You know a group has bonded when they begin discussing their bodily functions.
- There are no secrets on an overland truck.
- Bribery gets shit done. Faster.
- If you don't wear it two days in a row, it's still clean.
- Unscented products: don't mask the smell, but don't attract the mosquitos/bugs.
- It costs more to ship than to buy.
- Places always seem more real once you can measure out your distance from them on a road map.
- When removing your clothes, try to remember where you left them. (Finders keeps losers...)
- Being louder doesn't make you right.
- Never eat someone else's chocolate.
- Look out the window.
- Don't take larium.
- Whining and complaining have their place. It is certainly not here, and almost never now.
- "Save yourself, leave the cornflakes!"

N.